


Down Down the Roller Coaster

by TyMatthews (snailsluck)



Category: Big (1988)
Genre: friendship but you know as well as I know you know, when they are older to be sure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-10 04:46:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4377731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snailsluck/pseuds/TyMatthews
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh is hanging out with his best friend, back in his good old young body. To be a kid again!</p><p>It was darn weird. Everything was. Nothing felt the same. After the thrill of seeing his parents<br/>again, and Rachel, everything seemed so dull. So, so so old!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Down Down the Roller Coaster

**Author's Note:**

> This is a thirteen year old POV sorta. Just so you know, you know, that I tried a little. Just a little to make it sound like it. However not so it'd be intolerable to read. Fingers crossed hope die. Or something like that.

It was darn weird. Everything was. Nothing felt the same. After the thrill of seeing his parents  
again, and Rachel, everything seemed so dull. So, so so old!

  
First Josh thought it was the way everyone was treating him differently that made things darn  
weird. All the staring and cops asking questions. The media! Oh my gosh, you'd think they had  
better things to do. Phoning in all the time and bothering his mom. Mom. She was hysterical at  
first when he came back. But when everyone was staring where ever they went and the  
school... The school being bunch of idiots at first. Let him tell you, his mom would get this  
super cold blood killer mom thing going on. Again.

  
Just like on the phone, and with the knife when she thought Josh was the kidnapper. A  
kidnapper. His own kidnapper.

  
He wasn't really kidnapped. Hadn't been. It was hard to keep these things straight  
in his head after telling the story so many times. The lie. If he didn't feel enough quilt for  
keeping the whole thing a lie to his family, he'd remember to be really scared of his wolf of a  
mother and keep it under wraps.

  
Sure! Yes, haha, he was scared of his mom still! And it was her sad face when he didn't play  
with his toys any more that broke his heart. But what could he do about it! He had been a darn  
adult, for Pete's sake. If he told the truth she'd think he was even more broken, you know, in the  
brain. More broken than just a not kid playing with toys anymore. He wanted to be a kid, truly,  
but he felt so old.

  
That's why it was so unfair Billy would just keep on being-- being something, the one with  
answers, or something. Must be that annoying three months older thing. Josh had always  
relied on Billy to know what to do, but Josh had been thirty something. It couldn't- how's it fair?  
Three frigging months shouldn't make this much of a difference and top being an actual adult!  
When Josh had gotten back to school, finally, Billy had been there. Five days he'd spent home  
before it. Only occasional update about police men and stuff via radiophone. And when people  
started crowding him Billy had protected him. Diverted the enquiries. Spread his arms to make  
cover for Josh from them pressing too near.

  
However now things were quiet and they were sitting on their usual. Josh knew his world was  
grey and dull, darn weird, but he wouldn't be able to fake interest for friendship sake. Nothing  
was the same. He had dreaded the moment Billy would find out. Still he had no plan how to  
deal with it when it came.

  
"Josh. Josh? C'mon you used to-- don't you want to play with baseball cards any more?"

  
Sigh. "I'm 13, Billy."

  
"Duh. So?"

  
"So, these... these toys, the market doesn't extend over the 12 year old cut off point."

  
"Huh? Whadoya- Hey, don't cite statistics to me!"

  
"Just. Leave it alone, Billy."

  
"Look. All I'm saying"

  
"I don't want to hear it! I just. I don't feel like a--"

  
"No. Josh. No. "

  
"What!?"

Billy gave out a deep gust of air.

  
"What!?", Josh repeated defiant.

"Sit down. I'm going to tell you what."

"Yeah? What could you possibly tell me!? You wasn't a- you weren't an adult!!"

"Sit down, Josh." The seriousness really got to him. Billy had never been this-this, what is this?  
Morose? So, Josh sat down. Forgetting his embarrassed unshed tears from just a second ago  
and looked at his best friend. Looking world weary or in pain, really.

 

"I don't--" Billy started. Ran a hand through his face and hair. Stuffing hands to pockets he  
started again. "It's not something you should beat up yourself about. You get me?"

He paced in front of Josh and took hands out gesturing with them instead. "As long as it's fun,  
Josh. As long as it's fun."

Finally he sat down next to Josh putting hand on his shoulder, warm and heavy, "Or whenever  
it feels fun. For me, it's not fun without you. And it's fine. We'll find something else. We'll--"

Josh suddenly got up, Billy's hand slid off him and Josh was pacing this time.

"People take things so seriously about everything in life they forget to let loose!" Billy  
continued, looking for eye contact from on the move Josh. "Thinking on and on about what  
they need to do what they ought to do, routine and responsibly. Then how -how nothing seems  
to be enough! Or how they can be enough or noticed or appreciated. Or fit in. We all change,  
Josh. I'm not even talking about growing up."

"You can't keep a kid from growing up", Josh echoed the words of MacMillan. Hollow.

 

"Maybe. But the thing is when we get bored of playing one thing or other. Like, like you can  
only watch the same film so many times even if it's been the best ever. You find a new thing to  
interest you."

"Toys for adults?? Pfft. Give me a break!" Josh barked derisively.

"Uh...Growing up is not growing boring!! Not -not abandoning your friends! You think I forgot  
that? Josh! You did that to me!! --Your parents! Just take a look at them. They have fun. They  
don't grow bitter and soulless." (Like you) was unsaid in the air.

"I'm not bitter and soulless!" Josh had flinched at words and onslaught suddenly pouring out,  
but he wasn't going to let himself be defeated. This was getting really too much!

"I don't know what you saw, but MacMillan to me was filled with bitter and soulless people!  
Serious at place that should create fun for kids!"

"Well you saw wrong!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah! Duh. They were being adults!"

"Forget it. I've dinner to make." Billy sighed.

"You forget it...Make? You mean make it to dinner."

 

For a moment Billy looked like he was going to agree to that, but then he had his hands in his  
pockets again and sighed heavily. He shifted his gaze to say,

"No, Josh. I make the dinner. The desert, I do the laundry, wash the dishes, hoover two times a  
week, the breakfast, the lunch, the trash... you know -- stuff around the house"

"Wha? I don't. I really don't, I didn't! How did I not know this? "

"It's-- I-- Nevermind. " Billy was already walking away, and on his longboard rolling away.

"Billy! Wait-" There'd been another of those heavy sighs. Josh was getting really anxious. What  
did they mean? Horrifying words were spinning in his mind about abandoning your friends.

Had Josh totally screwed it up? Again? How? Nothing made sense! Last time he had been  
negligent, but it hadn't been his fault! There had been meetings and phone calls and...  
Marketing. Important things. To be sure, right?

But now? Billy said it didn't matter if Josh wanted to play but it mattered? There was no toy  
market for thirteen year olds. And what was that stuff about his parents?

Eventually Josh drifted in home. Keeping it quiet so he'd not have to look into those startled  
faces of his parents when they saw him home. They'd gotten him a therapist appointment for  
next week, but in his opinion it was them who were more upset about the whole thing.

 

It was Rachel's napping time. And his parents were alone together in the kitchen.  
Embarrassingly bantering about something like they always do. It was the worst when they  
were in public! Josh was sure it was a device for his torture.

  
Right now, they were saying mushy stuff and pretending to be debating who was that hostess  
in that or other tv-show. And out of nowhere Josh's dad ended up convincing mom to start  
catching bits of meatballs with her mouth. While his dad was narrating the events his mom  
was rolling her eyes. Giving Josh eery flashbacks back from when he and Billy were playing  
ball. Back when his biggest worry had been talking to a girl.

By the time his parents ended up giggling and kissing each other his mind was re-evaluating  
everything. Reeling. They were being normal. Still he had never seen it as having fun between  
two adults. They were hardly human beings to Josh most of the time. Now he could see it.

  
Only it took a lot of swallowing still. For the longest minutes he stood there peeking from the  
corner of the room. Until he figured he should check up on Rachel.

  
"Stupid Billy. What does it change? Nothing. Right, Rachel?" Something was warming him from  
inside.

"Nmm?" Rachel replied sleepy on his arms.

  
"Yeah, true... I've been a bad friend." He murmured to Rachel's sleeping face.

Maybe he should help Billy out with housework? At home, Josh only had taking out the trash  
and sometimes looking after Rachel. Maybe they could play with meatballs too while cooking?

 

That had looked like fun.

**Author's Note:**

> If I end up never writing some small thing of these two together. Or even if I do. Let me tell yah, they won't give up on those cards for many years to come. Josh is just a bit blue. But Josh's never really had to be much of an adult even when an adult so he's just going to bounce back. He's lived kinda sheltered. (Unlike Billy.) Now though he's doing better job with responsibilities. I said better -not miracle work.
> 
> Also for further reference I'm thinking of grown up Billy cast as young Harrison Ford. I think it fits as he was offered the role of grown up Josh, but turned it down. Before it was David Moscow for the kid Josh. (Light hair dark hair -stuff.)


End file.
